no words

i havent been blogging as much, havent really felt like expressing myself in too many words; havent felt like getting down to the real issues in my life. i hate expressing my issues b.cuz it makes me feel like im a depressed person. Grr

i mean pretty much my life is good.i have no complaints.i mean everyone has their moments but damn i hate wen i have mines. it feels like im bein punished for being happy. like being happy in life is too good to be true. a F A R fetchd dream; a fairy tale tht will nevr come true.

i feel like im misunderstood way too much. i have way too much attitude which i understand is a fault on my part but fck some ppl jus nvr give me a chance to explain myself. first impressions mean alot and my sarcasm may offend some ppl and they take it the wrong way but really im only joking.

i've been hurt before. bad. really bad. by a "love", a "friend", my mom gets on my last nerves like wtf. like she always finds a way to downplay wutevr im doin.but in reality im doin better than her. i hate for ppl to say i do somethin tht reminds me of her it really pisses me off. b.cuz she makes dumb decisions and lies way to fckn much...oh wait let me not say tht "dnt say tht...tht is ur mother"
gee thanks for the painful reminder. i mean dnt get me wrong i love my mom but she jus pisses me off soooo bad. all the time. over dumb shit.

im a V i R G i N. i dnt hide that piece of info from anyone. yep i made it all the way to 20yrs old. haha. funny. its been a long hard road but i've made and im still makin it. its weird the reactions i get from ppl wen i tell them tht. its like sometimes some ppl try to make me feel bad but i jus look @ like "yea and ur lettin a random nigga fck who u prolly wont even speak too in the next month, complaining about how he hurt ur feelings" thts wtf im missin out on? no thx.
ha dnt let me meet a guy a tell them. ha some dissappear faster than Houdini. some others stick around for awhile i guess to "try it out" as if they're gonna hurt my feelings if they leave tooo quickly. HA. im immune to it. i rather u leave early than to delay. dnt waste my time wit ur nonsense....ugh idk im like fck everything else and everyone.

my main focus is jus school which im doing well in and transferring.
some schools im eyeing::
order of importance

CSU CHANNEL ISLANDS
why: bomb campus. really nice dorms. small class rooms.middle of nowhere.close to beach.
SAN DIEGO STATE
why:sororities.best fren is goin there. nice dorms. close to beach.
CSU MONTEREY BAY
why: beautifully located campus. lots on on campus "things to do".
UC SANTA BARBARA
why:nice dorms. close to beach. great area.
UC IRVINE
why: bomb ass dorms. far enough away from home but still close. near a dance studio.

they are all very close together in competition they all offer me somethin different. hard to compare.



UC SAN DIEGO